BY HARRY RING
And no voting - Despite the "stereotyping" of prisons as "essentially dehumanizing social settings," most wardens are happy in their jobs, a prof reports. "Prison wardens are executives of very large enterprises where a lot of people report to them," he explains. "Almost like running a city."

Loud and clear - The Iowa legislature has been busy passing a spate of "tough on crime" bills, including chain- gang work of at least 40 hours a week for some inmates.

Some sensitive senators wanted to replace "chain gangs" with "highly secured work groups." Snorted a colleague, "It's a chain gang. That's what we want. That's the message we want to send."

A hearty handclasp and a box of oat bran - Discussing the bouncing of 600 employees, the in-house mag at Quaker Oats said: "Some Quaker Oats employees will say the company no longer cares for its own-`What's the payoff for the pain?' they want to know." Chief honcho William Smithburg responded: "They are very valued associates who performed their jobs in a first-class manner. We wish them well in their future endeavors."

Ding dong - Robert Gordon, a racist quack who teaches at Johns Hopkins University, is cited in the Bell Curve as a proponent of the thesis that Blacks have a genetically-based lower IQ. Gordon recently confided to a reporter that he's very brainy but, "I learned how to mute it to get along with other people well."

Literary note - In one of Ring Lardner's short stories, there's a bit of dialogue something like this: A: "You know, I'm not as dumb as I look." B: "I hope not."
Be well - First it was Willie King. He had the wrong foot removed at Tampa's University Community Hospital. Then came Leo Alphonse. He died when he was mistaken for another patient and removed from a breathing machine. This was followed by a partial sterilization of a patient after a Cesarean birth. The procedure was stopped when a nurse noted the patient had not consented.

Nothing's perfect - In an ad, the University Community Hospital expressed regrets for its mistakes, assured improvements are being made, and explained: "Unfortunately, in health care mistakes happen and some of these have occurred at our hospital."

Crime doesn't pay? - J.P. Bolduc, who was forced out as top dog at the W.R. Grace company amid charges of sexual harassment, will receive lifetime retirement benefits worth some $43 million.

Socialism, anyone? - California is a highly industrialized state and its huge agribusiness is probably the country's top food producer. Yet, University of California health experts report, 5 million residents suffer hunger. That includes 2 million children and 250,000 seniors. The researchers said this is a conservative estimate.  
 
 
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