The Militant(logo) 
    Vol.60/No.33           September 23, 1996 
 
 
The Great Society  

BY HARRY RING

2 `Hail Marys' and 3 `Bill Gates' - In Germany, the Catholic hierarchy has taken umbrage at the new software program, Confession by Computer. Select from a list of 200 transgressions (sounds like fun) and get an appropriate penance.

Needs another raise - In London, Dame Angela Rumbold, a Conservative member of Parliament, was irked by a pensioner's letter criticizing the 26 percent wage hike the MPs recently voted themselves. Dame Angela found it "disgusting" that people complained about the "rather modest" increase. She suggested: "If pensioners were working 90 hours a week as I am, maybe there would be more sympathy for your case."

Not jingoist enough - The "evolutionary socialist" Fabian Society presented a report to the British Labor Party proposing steps to trim the authority of the UK's monarchy. This includes replacing the national anthem. The report complains the anthem "is not an exaltation of nationhood or an expression of pride in our country. It does not even mention Britain or even England once."

Pinko ribbons? - The 1996 Iowa Republican platform opposes "the encroachment of socialism" at 4-H fairs. The party chairman explained, "I don't know how it got there, I think someone was concerned that they were no longer awarding ribbons on the basis of merit. Everyone who participated got a ribbon."

Just mischievous? - Northern California officials filed criminal charges against Nancy Vukelich, a former Chevron staffer, who allegedly falsified environmental reports on three oil-contaminated Chevron sites. Her successor spotted the assertedly doctored reports. Righteous Chevron officials waxed indignant and the puzzled San Jose Mercury News said "it was not clear what her motivation ... could have been."

Hackers and hacks - Scotland Yard was mortified. U.S. computer hackers had breached its phone system and assertedly ran up a long distance tab of $1.5 million on it. Meanwhile, it was disclosed that national health system bureaucrats wasted $780 million on computer systems that were supposed to improve patient care but didn't.

Top role models - San Francisco cops assigned to provide rookies on-the-street training cannot be "inappropriate role models." But many have been sued. Like the trainer who smashed his girl friend's face into a windshield, another who beat his stepdaughter, and a third who shot at a motorist after an accident.

A growth industry - "U.S. prison population doubles in a decade to 1.6 million." - News headline.

In English, right? - With evidence of possible early life forms on Mars, Landbroke, the UK betting chain, reduced the odds on finding life on another planet in the next year from 250-1 to 50-1. But they won't pay off unless the UN confirms existence of life forms capable of communicating with earth.  
 
 
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