BY HARRY RING
Joe Scrooge - "My feeling is that policies we've had in place... reflect a commitment to sensitivity. But it's fair to say that restructurings are business decisions - they're not driven by such things as the Christmas season." - Chevron spokesman Jim Hendon on current company layoffs.
It's called Intelligence - Currently the single Pentagon spy plane flying over Bosnia is its oldest, least capable, and most crash-prone. Three state-of-the-art drones had been assigned there, but two were shot down and the third yanked out. Sent to Bosnia in a huge rush, the planes were not equipped with radar, forcing them to fly below the clouds as easy targets.
Just as good - U.S. military and intelligence agencies have made extensive use of psychics in intelligence gathering - like trying to locate underground tunnels they suspected the North Koreans had dug in the demilitarized zone. One psychic staffer at the Pentagon channeled information through his fingers. A laid-back co-worker favored a technique combining relaxation and meditation. The Washington Post said the secret program was code-named "Stargate."
Who would think otherwise? - A New Jersey Department of Motor Vehicles spokesman said it was easy for Jersey City cops to grab stolen or towed cars by ensuring that the owners were not notified. He said the DMV doesn't watch for such scams because the police are expected to always tell the truth.
Meanwhile... - "Three Newark police officers have been indicted on charges of illegally using their position on the auto squad to acquire stolen vehicles for virtually nothing." - Associated Press.
Good on gas - A neat Xmas item from Hammacher Schlemmer, the Spa-ster. As near as we can figure it out, it's a hot tub shaped like a sports car. Seats four comfortably. $35,000.
Also, at some point, he'd die - That Florida doc who cut the wrong leg off a diabetic patient and removed another patient's toe without her consent was suspended from practice for six months and fined $10,000. The Board of Medicine said it imposed a light sentence because he had a good record and, besides, the diabetic patient's other leg would probably have been removed anyway.
Something for everyone - Canada's Ontario government is selling a food calendar to promote local produce. It includes some tasty recipes and such ingredients as asparagus, fresh peaches, pecans, and white wine. Earlier provincial officials chopped welfare 21.6 percent and suggested recipients could eat well on $90 a month by sticking with bologna, canned beans, etc.
No comment - "In Kenya, supersonic jets bring tourists to $500-a-night gin-and-tonic safaris. But almost half the resident population cannot find safe water to drink, no matter how far they walk. Slum residents near the capital, Nairobi, once were allowed to fill their water buckets from water taps at a local golf course. But this has been found to disrupt golfers and has been disallowed." - Los Angeles Times dispatch.